I want to be good at everything I do.  But when learning something new, that desire to be good can be a roadblock.  Think about it, if you wanted to be a great golfer but you've never swung a club before, comparing your progress to your definition of good (i.e. Tiger Woods), is very likely overwhelming and discouraging.  You look at where your current skills are and how far they have to evolve to get there and it's easy to not even start; don't even give it the ol' college try.  Or if you do start and you're stumbling out of the gate, it's damn frustrating when you're not reaching those lofty ambitions.  Frustration sucks, leads to unhappiness, slower progress, failure... you get it.

Don't do that.

Many goals/dreams/desires worth pursuing are difficult and so much more rewarding and lead to a satisfying life.  Don't give up because it's hard and the gap between beginner and expert seems infinite.  It's not.

Think better instead.

I mean this literally.  When you start learning your new skill, focus on getting better.  Only compare yourself to you and your progress.  Ask yourself, did I perform or comprehend a little better than last training/learning session?  Yes?  Celebrate.  Give yourself a little pat on the back, feel good, and focus on getting just a little bit better next time.  Repeat.

This is by far the most effective mindset for engaging in new learning experiences.  Study and emulate the experts but don't use them as your benchmark.  Only look at what you've done last time compared to how you're performing this time.  Yesterday you couldn't balance the ball on the tee.  Today you can.  That's a victory to be happy about.  It's proof that the synapses are forming.  

And don't forget that learning is on a curve and beginning is typically the slowest progress but it picks up momentum as you start to adapt and build up your skill base.

Learning guitar, programming languages and technical skills, rock climbing safety, motorcycle driving, organic gardening, and Wing Chun have all been serious challenges to me that would have been easy to give up on but I'm so glad I didn't because they've become some of the most rewarding activities in my life.

So one last reiteration: Focus on getting better; not on being good.

My good friend Seth told me a couple weeks ago that I should write every day.  I've been contemplating this.
 
But first I must say that I've never actually met Seth but I've been reading his posts for so long that I feel like we're old pals (for example this one telling me and a few others to write every single day).  Seth is a visionary and thought leader and holds a high seat in my all-star mastermind committee.
 
I don't write every day because, well, a lot of what I write is crap.  I shape a lot of my thoughts through writing but sharing them and posting them is another thing.  I've shifted many of my positions over the years (major ones like religion, politics, and in regards to conventional wisdom) and there is the fear of online posts haunting me down the road as I continue to evolve and refine my thoughts.
 
But as Seth's words floated around my brain, I've again changed my position in regards to this matter.  I think that if I continue to explain the why's and how's of my position, even as those positions change, then people will understand and chalk it up to personal growth actually working.
 
I'm not sure if every day is the right goal for me because I have a lot of projects going on but I'm definitely going to up my goal (but I'm not telling you!).  Seth also says in the post, "Turn off comments, certainly--you don't need more criticism, you need more writing," but I'm leaving comments on because when I do get the occasional comment is has been positive, politely critical, or pure spam but nothing that has been overly critical and negative.  Now, I may change that position too as I start to post more writings that usually don't see the light of day.

I was backing up a bunch of large files from my laptop to our external harddrive and as you've doubtlessly encountered, the more files you copy at once, the slower each individual file transfer rate.  I think the same applies to habit changes.  The more things you try to change at once, the longer it takes each individual one to take hold, and realistically probably gets dropped instead.  That's a danger when the moment of inspiration and motivation occurs and you're ready to go gangbusters on overhauling your life.  Maybe you can handle 3 or 5 or 10 habit changes at once but you'll probably be more effective and master one quicker if you focus solely on one or an interrelated group of habits.

For example, I began Wing Chun Kung Fu training last month and in process determined that I'd function better in the martial arts if I got my body into better overall conditioning.  That conditioning supports my new habit so subsequent habits in fitness and nutrition were added to my "file transfer" so to speak.  I could probably focus solely on Wing Chun and gain a deeper understanding of the art in shorter time, but in this case, I believe I will experience and perform the art better if I split that time with adding new fitness and diet routines.  These things are connected and reinforce one another.  However, it would probably be a bad time to start learning a new programming language or how to hang glide or add a new skill to my arsenal that isn't related to my current project.

That said, a new habit or routine can be set fairly quickly - 3-4 weeks of consistent practice.  When you get to the point where you don't have to consciously remind yourself to keep up with the new routine and it just happens, then it's a good time to apply brain power to the next project.

Lisa and I watched a couple TED Talks vids the other night - which is a great substitute for watching TV - seriously, pick one night a week and watch TED speakers for the evening - good for the whole family and will stimulate your brain cells.  Anyway, we re-watched this short clip by Derek Sivers which contradicts some popular goal setting tactics.  3 minutes, have a watch:

This is interesting and the opposite of what lot of "experts" recommend but the studies done actually show that you are less likely to accomplish your goals if you tell people about them. Sounds crazy because it seems rational that by telling people your goal you will be more motivated to act on it but the experiments conducted showed the opposite. When sharing your goals with people you get positive feelings and brain chemicals trigger a sense of "accomplishment" even though you really haven't moved any closer to your goal.

So... accordingly, the best method for goal management is the following:

1. Write down your top few goals (1 year / 5 year)
2. Review it daily (and refine if necessary)
3. Determine a list of sure and potential action items for each
4. Visualize what the outcome looks like until the image is clear in your mind
5. Keep it to yourself but work diligently towards accomplishing each step
6. Reward yourself accordingly for each successful step towards your goal